Bad Thing Happened for A Reason

I am going to type this with English, so maybe it can make a story 'feels' smoother than reality


Now, I am typing about my daily activities in holiday
It was nothing.
I felt I was spent it, unwisely.
I become worse-than-yesterday person.
I just feel, drowned.
for you know, I typing this posting while huge tasks are waiting to be done.
for a task, I found a definitely-BIG-Problem, but I take it really-slow

do you have any idea what's happened to me?

I only do nothing, everyday
I woke up at 7
I missed morning prayer, everyday, along holiday

I played with my 10 inch tablet, the whole day

the most unforgettable moments was only when I met around with old friends,
beside that? Exactly nothing.

I feel that I am lost.
I can't control myself.
I hid.
from nothing that I can't sure myself.

I do not know why I'm feeling so Great, but lost.
Like I will survive everywhere I am
which mean, I am definitely in WRONG WAY
but I can't steer myself
I broke promise that I made for myself
I have no priority right now
I undisciplined me

I couldn't resist
too many negative things in me now
I just can hope I get my positive side soon,

I just....